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How to Start Dating Again After Being Single for a Long Time

Let’s be honest. It’s pretty daunting venturing back out into the battlefield of love right after a nasty breakup, or a long hiatus. You start to think, ”Am I ready for a relationship? Can I love again?”

These are totally normal questions if you are looking at how to get back into dating. By the way, congratulations! You’re about to achieve quite an impressive feat.

This guide will help you navigate the complexities of getting back into the dating game. You’ll get practical, relatable tips that have produced real results. Say goodbye to anxiety or fear. It’s time to look on the bright side of an unadulterated, pure view of love and dating.

Dating expert Dean Hunter at WingmanX
Dean Hunter
6 min read
1600 views

Posted: Mar 6, 2025

Updated: Mar 12, 2025

How to Start Dating Again

Romantic couple on a picnic, man feeding woman strawberries while laughing
  • Meet People

This is exciting and also nerve-wracking. But you need to get out there and meet new people. Don’t overthink it. Be yourself and make sure to be friendly. It’s also important that you meet new people with pure intentions. Keep it cool and easy, and make sure to have genuine fun while at it.

  • Know when you’re ready

How long after a breakup should you date?” There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. But here’s the key: if you’re looking to date to fill a void or make your ex jealous, you’re not ready. When you’ve healed and are genuinely excited to connect with someone new, you’ll know.

  • Be patient

Good things take time. Don’t be in a rush to get into a relationship just yet. There’s no deadline for finding love. Take your time to get to know people and enjoy their company. Remember, dating isn’t always about finding the one. It’s about building connections that can turn into lifelong friendships instead of romance.

  • Keep the first date low-key

People can smell desperation from a mile away and to be honest, it’s not so much of a great look. No one wants to feel overwhelmed on a first date. Stick to something simple with the cute stranger like a coffee date, a walk in the park, or a casual lunch. Low-key settings make it easier to relax and be yourself, without feeling the need to impress.

  • Talk to strangers

It sounds crazy but talking to a stranger is the only way you get to meet new people. Your partner was once someone you didn’t even know existed. There’s no harm approaching the attractive brunette sitting across from you at a coffee shop. Strangers can turn into friends and friends to lovers. Fingers crossed.

  • Identity relationship goals 

What do you want? A casual relationship? A serious commitment? Be honest with yourself and any potential partners. Writing down your goals can help you stay grounded. Ensure you’re aligning with someone who shares the same values and intentions as you.

  • Try new things

Break out of your routine. Explore new hobbies, sign up for that dance class you’ve always wanted to take, or travel solo. Rediscover yourself, boost your confidence, and also open yourself to meet new people.

  • Say yes

Say yes to possibilities of love and happiness. You’ve done the work of emotional stability. Now it’s time to give love a chance again. Say yes to opportunities that align with your values and allow yourself to be vulnerable.

  • Know what you want

Don’t hesitate to outline what you don’t want in a relationship. Reinforce boundaries and communicate. Make sure you align with a potential partner on what you both want. Don’t settle for less.

  • Try online dating 

It’s estimated that about 60% of users find potential matches while swiping away on an online dating app. Platforms such as Bumble, Hinge, Tinder, – do great for matching you with people who you share a lot in common with.

Get in there! Be bold, confident, and assertive. Upload your authentic photos, craft a bio that reflects your personality, and have fun. That’s as simple as it gets. Remember, you’re in control of the narrative you share.

  • Don’t rush into love

Take as much time as you need to fully embrace yourself before loving someone else. There’s no pressure to “make it work” with the first person you meet. Love thrives when it’s built on mutual respect and emotional readiness

How to Start Dating Again at 40

To date again at 40, you need to let go of your doubts. Dating at 40 isn’t a disadvantage—it’s an opportunity to find love with all the wisdom and experience you’ve gained. 

Here’s how to do it right:

  • Self Reflection

A lot of self-reflecting and deep work can help you focus on your why. Ask yourself, Why do I want to date again? Is it out of fear of being alone? Are you ready to love and be loved? Be honest about your motivations and it’ll guide you toward healthier relationships.

  • Online dating 

Yes, it can feel intimidating, but it’s one of the easiest ways to meet people at this stage in life. Sign up on that dating app! Upload your best photos, come up with a killer headline and bio, and you’re well on your way to finding the perfect match.

Avoid being a dry texter. Ask engaging questions and show genuine interest. Work on leveraging humor to keep your conversation starters fun.

For more tips on how to lead the best conversations, I recommend Text God by Matthew Hussey. It explains how to send well-crafted text messages to attract and keep the attention of a quality partner. 

  • Be authentic 

Being yourself is the best way to attract someone who truly values you. Those quirky habits you have, don’t even think about hiding them. Make it a priority to be your authentic self. Honesty is your most attractive feature during your dating phase.

  • Prioritize Values

At 40, you know what matters to you. Put those values first, and look for someone whose goals align with yours. Make sure there’s absolute alignment with your life goals and principles.

  • Maintain Independence

Don’t lose sight of your individuality. Keep at the forefront of your mind who you are at your core and never forget that. While love is beautiful, your life shouldn’t revolve around it. Keep nurturing your passions and friendships outside of the relationship.

How to Start Dating Again at 50

Explore expert tips on how to get back to dating at 50:

  • Don’t stress about your past: Yes, your past relationships didn’t work out. It doesn’t mean love won’t find you again. Be positive. Thousands of men and women are just about to get married to the love of their lives at 50, and you will too.
  • Be real: Say things as they are and be honest about your age. Like I said earlier, honesty is the most attractive trait in the dating scene. Being honest saves you a lot of heartaches. It ensures you find your one true soulmate.
  • Go all out: Get engaged in fun activities. Connect with new people. Try new things. Reinvent yourself. Don’t be afraid to state what you want. 

By following these tips, you’ve solved about 70% of your problems. You’ll be well on your way to dating the best of the crop.

How Soon is Too Soon to Start Dating Again

Wondering when to start dating again after heartbreak? There’s no one-size-fits-all answer—some take longer to heal, while others are ready sooner. The key is to listen to your heart and do what feels right for you.

Here’s how to know if you’re truly ready to put yourself out there again:

  • Emotional Healing: Only start dating when you feel whole on your own. Get to the point where you do not need the presence of a partner to feel happy and content.
  • Personal Growth: How much have you grown since the last time you dated? Learn from past mistakes to avoid repeating them.
  • Date Yourself First: Have you spent quality time alone to rediscover your passions? Do you know yourself as much as you’d want a significant other to know you? 
  • Build Confidence: How confident are you in yourself? Practice self-care to feel your best. Build up your self esteem and confidence before choosing to date again.

Make sure to build on each of these tips and apply them to your personal daily routines. Schedule solo dates. Include self-care activities within busy weeks. Sign up for therapy. 

How do I know I’m ready for a relationship? You know you’re ready for a relationship when your heart is in the right place.

Dean Hunter – dating expert

Be honest with yourself. If you still think about your ex frequently, and won’t mind getting back with them, you might not be ready for a relationship.

How to Start Dating Again After Losing a Spouse

After losing a spouse you need time to heal. Don’t rush into anything, the goal isn’t to forget what you shared with your partner. It’s about remembering enough to find happiness again. 

Here are some important tips to help you get going:

  • Connect with others: It might be tempting to isolate but make out time to actively connect with people. Do it slowly and naturally until you allow yourself to come around. Attend small gatherings. Hang out with people you care about. Go out and touch some grass.
  • Take your time: Try not to rush into a new relationship. Instead, ease into it. Be gentle with your heart. The best place to start is with friendship. Go have fun with a group of friends and eventually ease into spending one on one time.
  • Follow your heart: If something doesn’t feel right, don’t push it. It’s been a while you’ve dated so it might take you a bit of time to get used to. Listen to your heart and go with what feels right.
  • Set realistic expectations: It is easy to compare your date to your late partner. Try not to place subtle pressure on them to meet up. Instead, accept them for who they are. Set realistic expectations and be okay if they don’t meet them.

Always remember to listen to your heart. Don’t feel pressured to date or find love again. If you feel the urge to, do it on your own terms and at the right time.

How to Start Dating Again After a Breakup or Divorce

These signs will help you know if your heart is open to love again:

  • Focus on Healing: First off, you need to let go of all the resentment, hurt and emotional baggage. Let go of your previous relationships and move on to the next best thing.
  • Reassess Your Priorities: What is most important to you right now? Your needs might have changed and it’s important that you know what you value now in a relationship.
  • Build a Support System: Don’t allow the desire for a relationship take you away from the ones who mean the most to you. Reach out to your friends and family for support and encouragement.

How Long Should You Wait to Date After a 5-Year Relationship

Take as much time as you need to heal. Take care of yourself first.

There’s nothing wrong in choosing to take off more than 5 month or even 5 years. Process the break-up, work on who you want to become and let go of all that baggage. Then slowly reintroduce yourself to the dating scene. 

Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.

How to Start Dating Without Apps

While online dating has become the go-to for many, it’s not the only way to meet a potential life partner. Exploring alternative methods can feel even more rewarding, as you don’t need to do as much. 

Here are some other options to consider:

  1. Single Events: Singles mixers or dinner parties for singles is such a great way to meet people face to face. These events usually provide a relaxed setting, giving way to very organic conversations.
  2. Activity Groups: Having a genuine hobby can be a fantastic way to meet like-minded people. Whether it’s a cooking class or a book club, hobbies let you connect with new people while doing something you love.
  3. Matchmaking: Your close circle can be a direct link to meeting interesting people. Communicate and let them know you’re open to meeting someone, and they will do the rest.  
  4. Volunteering: Look out for volunteer opportunities within your neighbourhood. You never know who you could end up meeting.
  5. Professional Matchmaking Services: Consider using a matchmaker if you’re looking for something serious. These professionals take the time to understand your priorities. Then, they match you with the most compatible people.  
  6. Faith-Based Communities: If faith plays a huge role in your life, this is for you. Consider going to events hosted by your place of worship. These meetings are great for meeting people who share faith-based principles like you.

Final Thoughts

Dating again can feel overwhelming. It’s however an exciting opportunity to rediscover yourself. The bonus point is finding a partner who would love and accept you for who you are. 

It doesn’t matter if you’re reentering the dating scene after a long break. To hack the dating scene, practice patience and emotional maturity. And never forget; It’s never too late to try again.

Not sure what to do or say on your date? Check out the best first dates ideas to leave a lasting impression.

What’s the best way to start dating again?

 
Focus on healing, building confidence, and meeting new people.

 Is 40 too old to start a new relationship?


Absolutely not! It’s never too late to start again, despite what society might project on you. Meaningful relationships start at any stage in life. What’s important is that you’re open to it.

What are the odds of finding love after 40?

The odds are dependent on you. It’s never been about age. Love can find you any day, anytime. Just open up your heart and let go of your doubts.

Does dating get harder after 30?

Dating after 30 isn’t harder. It’s just streamlined. You’re more focused on what’s important to you, and your priorities are clear. It’s actually easier to find a better fit of a partner at this age.

What is a red flag when dating in your 50s?

Asking simple questions about a potential partner’s priorities can tell you all you need to know. If they do not coincide with yours, you have enough red flags to bid them goodbye.

How do I find love again in my 50s?

Stay open, authentic, and eager to explore new avenues for meeting people. 

Dean Hunter is a dating expert and confidence coach helping men master attraction, refine their social skills, and keep conversations engaging—online and IRL.

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FAQ

What's the best way to start dating again?

Focus on healing, building confidence, and meeting new people.

Is 40 too old to start a new relationship?

Absolutely not! It’s never too late to start again, despite what society might project on you. Meaningful relationships start at any stage in life. What’s important is that you’re open to it.

What are the odds of finding love after 40?

The odds are dependent on you. It’s never been about age. Love can find you any day, anytime. Just open up your heart and let go of your doubts.

Does dating get harder after 30?

Dating after 30 isn’t harder. It’s just streamlined. You’re more focused on what’s important to you, and your priorities are clear. It’s actually easier to find a better fit of a partner at this age.

What is a red flag when dating in your 50s?

Asking simple questions about a potential partner’s priorities can tell you all you need to know. If they do not coincide with yours, you have enough red flags to bid them goodbye.

How do I find love again in my 50s?

Stay open, authentic, and eager to explore new avenues for meeting people. 

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